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Have you experienced a recent loss or in the past few years? Someone close? Someone you love deeply? Is it a grandparent or parent, your sibling or a child? Another relative? Perhaps a friend, neighbor or special animal? This season can be difficult for us. Very difficult. For me it's my first without my son, Josh . I didn't plan for it to be. I wasn't sure what to expect. I heard from others how hard it is going through the first year maybe second or even third. And then came Monday, November 14th. On that day, almost immediately, my entirety knew just knew in one months time... will be his Birthday. What do I do?! How do I do any of this?! Suddenly I realized the season I was entering. Not only his Birthday... but Thanksgiving, then Hanukkah and Christmas and the New Year and shortly after the New Year... his one year anniversary in February. All this in one season. All connected. All about to happen whether I want it to or not. Time isn't stopping. Time will continue and life... will go on. So how do I, WE, survive the holidays? Do we choose to ignore and avoid? Isolate; hide ourselves in a shell? Intoxicate to numb? If this isn't your first year, then I ask you reader , what have you done before to get through? Did it help or make things worst? "Your absence covers everything. The silence is deafening." Gary Roe There is a hard truth we all must face. The absence of our loved ones. The future we had hoped for, imagined, no longer exists. Everything has changed. Birthdays, holidays, the seasons and life will go on without them (physically) in it. We will still look for them. We will still ask, "Where are they? What are they doing?" This is natural. There's nothing that can be done to change the impact of the loss and absence felt especially in these times. But... how can I choose to survive this and include my son in all of it? How can YOU choose to survive the holidays and include your loved ones? That's the real question. I want to share with you my journey. I hope in sharing openly you can find something to help you not only survive through the holidays but bring your loved ones into it. Or at the very least, give you something to think about. IMAGE: PHOTO BY MARCY BACHELOR DATE: 25 NOV 2022 LOCATION: SOUTH ELGIN IL Two weeks ago at griefshare (a grief support group that meets on a weekly basis each semester) we watched a video about surviving the holidays and these are some of my personal notes and takeaways from what spoke to me: Accept this will be hard. Be honest with where you are and "when" you are. Own your grief! This is essential to survival. Share your grief . Be flexible. Don't make any commitments. You can't be certain about how you will feel on any given day. Make a list of what was before the loss. Then ask yourself if you still need this? Is it something you can let go of? Or does it somehow help to include your loved one even now? How about considering new traditions to create? Is there something that can honor your loved ones memory in a special way? What will bring you comfort and healing this season? And remember that as you move forward you can bring them with you. As you go through your journey during the holidays, be kind to yourself and patient. Explore. Experiment. Find what works for you best and those still living that you love. I know for me it's very important to share about my son. To talk about his life. Recognizing he is absent. Letting others know in what ways I want to honor him be it lighting a candle or something else in his memory. I am also planning to focus on preservation of memories. How many of us have hundreds of photos and other things connected to our loved ones who have moved on from this life? Or to those still with us? After experiencing such loss, I am motivated to attend to the now. Cherish what was but also what is. Go through each photo. Tag it! Make notation of it! Create new memories! Share with others! And service. This is a BIG one! Do you know that when you get up and help someone else you actually have the potential to heal yourself? There is something to it. Getting your mind off of oneself and focused on the other person who is in need. And you do have something that can ease their suffering. Bring comfort. Encourage them. Strengthen and support them in their weakness. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.… (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) I tell you from my own experience. Shortly after my son's passing, just days after... a distant cousin lost their son too. Tragically. Almost immediately, I connected. I knew firsthand the intensity of childloss. I wanted to bring comfort in an unusual way yet familiar way. A bond that is created among others who share the same type of loss. I felt comfort in reaching out. Serving. Loving. Giving of myself despite my own suffering. Even when my pain was just as new, raw and fresh . Helping others eases your pain. And I have been continuing to practice intently to seek out anyone I get notice of experiencing a new loss or recent as well as anyone suffering intense grief and sorrow even years after. This has encouraged me to use my own experience to comfort and support others on their own journey. I can only share and give suggestions. This world is not short on opportunities to make a difference right where we are in every day we have to live. Even more during the holiday season! Here are other ideas: 1.Visit a shut in or someone you know who is perhaps as you are, grieving a loss. 2.Volunteer at a homeless shelter or serve in a soup kitchen. 3.Donate to a charity in honor of your loved one(s). 4.Serve in your community. 5.Foster for a local animal shelter. Whatever you decide to do during this season what matters the most is to be truthful of where you are and what you can find in you to do that will comfort you. Seek peace. Seek healing. Honor the loss. Honor those still loved. And learn to grieve well. In a way that helps you take another breath and another step. And trust that you are not alone in this. There are a multitude of others all over the globe just as you are and as I am, who also are grieving. Preparing to face this season. To prepare their hearts and minds for what will come and not wait until we are ready. My hope, we face it strong and courageously. We are not alone... "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 #survival #holidays #grief #loss #griefshare #support #help #2Corinthians #bibleverse #GaryRoe #Joshua1 #Josh

I can't believe it's been 9 months. I haven't written here since the start of summer. I did draft a post and have gone back to it since, a few times, to reread or update and edit. It's a difficult post that I haven't finished, but I do want to publish it soon. It's about Josh's accident, the investigation and my faith walk through childloss. I still don't know how it is that I am here right now... I am still breathing and I am still living. There was a time on this journey when I didn't think or believed I could or wanted to. My attempt tonight is simple. I will just write. Say what I want to say. Just as it is. To be raw. Vulnerable. Unpolished. Me. This journey has been messy. Grief is messy. Complicated. Complex. "A tangled web of emotions," I read this description recently and I agree grief is just like this. But grief is also at its core... love. LOVE. We grieve and mourn, because we love. So to feel the pain. To feel the emotions. The sorrow... is to continue to love. Our loss is unchanging yet ever-changing. How so? Well... its unchanging because we can't turn back the clock and bring our loved ones back. But it's ever-changing because whether we like it or not, accept it or not, our world is actively changing. Who we are as a result of our loss... is changing. The future we had hoped for now gone and also is changing. Our relationships are changing. Perhaps even our status and roles have changed. To suffer loss we cannot escape the change that's occurring. It will happen without approval. And is happening. Who I am right now is not the same person I was the day before the accident... the Marcy of February 3rd was drastically changed on February 4th and sealed the moment he breathed his last... on February 5th. This change I have been experiencing ongoing ever since. It's very active. And I have learned to embrace it and not go against it. Doesn't mean I don't struggle through it. Believe me I do. But I am witnessing such incredible growth in my life as a result of the acceptance. Death... my son's death... will always be with me. The grief is now an important part of me, my life. But it's not my identity or how I will choose to define myself. I am learning each day about who I am and who I am becoming. There's a freedom I discovered since having his life, Josh's, cut short so suddenly and traumatically. I thought I understood living life for each and every single day. But now... I REALLY understand. If you are reading this... then right now is what you have that is certain. And I urge all my readers to consider how you choose to use these moments in your life... the time that is guaranteed... ...only is the present. The NOW. Please live it. Be present. Feel the life inside you. And love the lives around you. Be the best version of yourself whether you find yourself in the good or the bad... somehow even the imperfect is perfect. Still because it means...you are here. Still living. Live your life on purpose. Live. Image: Photo taken by Marcy B. LIVE Wristband; Joshua B.; April 2022 Background on the Wristband. I was in Josh's room with his youngest brother Gabe sitting on his bed. I was sorting slowly through his belongings while Gabe played on his big brother's Xbox. I picked up a small box. And opened it to find it filled with wristbands he had collected! I never knew about it. But Gabe did. He remembered seeing it before. Then I picked up a random wristband from the top of the pile. To then read the word, LIVE. It was very clear to us both that this is a message. I can't say for certain if it was my Josh speaking or an angel or God... but... I will not deny the supernatural. It was direct and on time for me. I felt like giving up. Not living. I wanted everything to end. How could I go on with my son? But here it was... like a command. LIVE. I now wear it everyday and when I need most to be reminded, I touch it and read it again. LIVE. #loss #life #death #grief #mourning #sorrow #9months #February #childloss #son #Josh #purpose #lifelessons #griefjourney #change #trauma #sudden #forever23Josh #forever23joshsmom #wristband

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) A week ago was Thanksgiving. I didn't know how I would get through the first holiday of this season... but, I made it! I am making it through! I actually did it. God's grace is sufficient. God's strength is evident in my weakness. In my mourning, just as Jesus spoke; I am blessed with comfort. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 In my soul there's an overflow of peace and love. And because of the hope of heaven and promise of eternity, although I grieve, I learn to even do that well... grieve... only because Jesus walks with me and as I daily choose to surrender, in whatever state I am in... knowing I am fully loved. I am fully accepted. I am fully understood...and fully known. He meets me where I am just as I am. Can I say I am thankful for my greatest loss? Does Jesus want me to praise Him for my son's death in this life? I absolutely don't believe He does! But I do know to praise Him despite it and thank God for Josh's life! 23 years I had, the world had, with my son! I thank God for saving him and giving him eternity and heaven! For bringing so much good out of my tragedy, out of this loss! And for those I still have with me today... to love, to care for, and to serve, cherish, grow with, learn from, to build and rebuild with, to walk and create with... to live life with... no matter what this life brings, and has brought, He ( Jesus ) remains. Jesus helps me through it. So on Thanksgiving day, I surrendered. I surrendered to the experience and the outcome. I trusted God to not only order my steps but to direct it, one by one. I had recently remembered an idea we, as a family, had...to have a pie buffet. This become the one thing for me; if nothing else, if I manage to start this tradition then I have victory! So I set out on a mission. I had three pies by Wednesday night; a pumpkin pie, coconut creme pie, and pecan pie...all I needed was at the very least three more. Including one of Josh's favorite, "banana creme pie." I left for the market, the only one I knew of that was still open day on the holiday; Jewel Osco. I had gone to the same store in town and failed to find banana creme pie the day before. This time I decided to check the other branch store in St Charles. On entering the store, the first display I saw were pies. All but his. Then I moved all the surface pies and hidden beneath was the only one pie left...his banana creme! I felt as if that single pie was there waiting just for me. While I was at the store, back at home, my husband assisted my youngest for the first time in preparing the turkey. Gabriel unpacked and seasoned his very first turkey. Once I arrived (after praying in the car) I was ready to get a special dinner prepped and started. Unplanned. No communication. Only quiet anticipation and silence did my husband and I make dinner.We worked seamlessly. My only goal was to make this day a day for both my husband and Gabe . We managed to prep and cook at the very least seven food items just for the three of us! Turkey, mashed potatoes, french green beans, stuffing, arroz con gandules, macaroni salad, cranberry sauce and vegan meatless item just for me. At a point in time, while the food sat on our stove cooking I sat for a small break...and began to cry. My husband immediately, whether or not he initially noticed, he comforted me. He stood beside me and put his arm around me. Gently rubbing my back and shoulders as tears ran down my face. I missed my son, Josh . I miss him even as I share this with you now. I sat for that moment reminiscent of past times shared with Josh. How I miss his presence. His energy. His essence. Everything that makes him, him . As we sat for dinner I made certain to talk about him. I asked a question about what would he have chosen to eat tonight? Surely he'd skip arroz con gandules! But for sure he'd go for dessert.. and some mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, MAYBE turkey... So yes... even in my sorrow as it continues with each passing day and moments spread out during my days, I still find joy and see God's goodness. My heart breaks but yet is continually put back together and made whole. And although I may not have all the right words or ways to explain any of this... I know it to be my truth, His truth for my life. May my story bring hope to you as you see me walking this journey. Please share your stories and journey with me as well. Thank you for reading. THANKSGIVING Memories ... In Pennsylvania 2016 (First Photo: Josh and Marcy Second Photo: Josh, Gabriel and Marcy) In Joppatown Maryland 2017 (First Photo: Blessing, Josh, Angel and Gabriel; Second Photo: Josh, Blessing, Marcy, Angel and Gabriel) *Note: Our last Thanksgiving in Maryland and with the twins. In Saint Charles Illinois 2019 (First Photo: Josh and Gabriel; Second Photo: Marcy, Vince, Josh and Gabriel) #mourning #loss #grief #Thanksgiving #holidays #family #memories #photos #Josh #Jesus #faith #Godsgrace #thanksgiving2022 #Thanksgiving2019 #thanksgiving2017 #Thanksgiving2016 #Pennsylvania #Maryland #Illinois #salvationarmy #Lazarushouse #joppatown

There's a great divide between us now. One unexpected. Un-imagined. Undesired. Where I am you no longer are. Where you are I long to be. This great divide is unlike any other created. On my end it's filled with utter evil, suffering, pain, despair, sickness, disease, death, grief and hopelessness. Where you are is filled with amazing grace, healing, wholeness, life, incredible love and peace. Where I am is dark. Where you are is light. And because you are divinely loved divinely chosen, God keeps you on the otherside.... away from me. Away from here. And I know it's not to hurt me. Not to hurt you. But to protect. On my side our understanding is limited. On your side, understanding is limitless! There are some that want to believe there is no divide. And we can somehow connect and meet. But... what does God tell us? What is the truth revealed to us in His word and through His Spirit? I caution ⚠️ I wait... and hold on to hope. If God decides to communicate with me concerning you then I count myself richly blessed! But if God is not in it then I don't want it; as this song says: JUST WANT YOU- The Belonging Co. Featuring Sara Reeves And as I did when you were here with me son, I still want for you... to be what God desires and only do what is permitted. Our time will arrive. The time I long for. To be with you on the other side. Until then I must accept this great divide. And celebrate where you are now is by far a mother's dream for her child. You are safe. You are now whole. You are well. And loved beyond measure. This is the Father's words to me daily since He took you. I will hold on to hope. Hold on to Jesus. And believe that our time will come. It will come. Dedicated to my son, Joshua Baez (1998-2022) "And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there." (Luke 16:26 NLT) Josh and I (Mom & Son Date) St Charles Illinois, 11 March 2018 #divide #seperated #earth #heaven #motherandson #Josh #grief #loss #hope #faith #love #eternity #luke16 #Bible #God #Jesus #darkness #light #pain #poetry #poem #march2018 #stcharles #Illinois

Editor’s Note: This letter was written during Joshua’s first birthday after his passing , in December 2022. I am sharing it here as part of his memorial — a reflection of grief, love, and the ways we continued to honor him during that first, unimaginable year without him. December 14, 2022 Wednesday Dear Josh, I'm feeling very sad today. How can I celebrate without you here, son? (Deep sigh) Your absence is particularly noticeable and felt today. Words can't express how much you're missed. The emptiness inside... it can't be filled. Having you for 23 years wasn't enough for me, for us... for the world. But... it's better than not having you at all. You drew your first breath on this day at precisely 6:40pm. Your eyes opened to a new world where you now existed. I recall hearing your first cry when they brought you out from my womb. The instant they placed you next to my face, you quieted. You were calm. You recognized my essence even before meeting me. I will always treasure our first moment together, and I eagerly await the next. I'm sitting here writing after spending the afternoon getting our home ready to celebrate you, son. Your closest friends are on their way, and one of your favorite pizzas from Pizza Hut will be delivered soon. I feel a surge of excitement as I wait! This is exactly what you would have wanted today. I can picture your eyes lighting up and your face breaking into a smile. It's your special day! You will always be remembered. And I will intentionally set out each day to find ways I can honor you and share your life with the world. Happy Birthday my son... I love you eternally ❤️ December 17, 2022 Saturday This morning, Vince, Gabe , and I got together with four of your closest friends ( Diraj, Jaro, Anjan, Zeke ) at Classic Cinemas in St Charles to watch the NEW Avatar movie in 3D ! It was incredible! You would have really enjoyed it! It was a special treat just for you, coming together and carrying on with your birthday tradition, doing the things you loved most on your special day. Even though it wasn't planned, a seat was kept open for you right next to me. I've missed you so much. I've prayed and hoped that somehow, in some way, you might still join us and let your presence be felt. It's nearly 11 p.m. now, and I'm at home, sitting alone in the dining room with a glass of wine as I write this letter to you. I'm using my silver Google Chromebook, which I found after a bit of searching. I suppose I'm trying to get used to it again. It will be much more convenient to carry around for work and business, and perhaps some additional activities—I'll see what I end up getting involved in. Since you've been away, I've kept myself quite busy. But I'll save that story for another time. After the movie, we sat and stayed behind as the credits rolled and chat for a little while. The 3D glasses are very cool. We all got ourselves souvenirs. This time I made sure to get all of us in a group photo since I forgot to take pictures on Wednesday. Diraj was chosen to take our selfie shot as he happens to have the longest arms. You do know he is also the tallest. And I am officially the shortest out of the group. Even your little brother Gabe has outgrown me at least by an inch or two. After a group hug, I made sure to get my own hugs in... we parted ways, and as Vince drove us home, I started to feel a wave of sadness. I had just enough time to get ready to visit your grave. It's been the longest period I've gone without visiting—three weeks and a few days. It's much colder now, and the cemetery's visiting hours are shorter. I miss spending time there; it has become a special place for me. Before headed out that way, I stopped inside to grab birthday flowers for you, a pretty blue shade with a birthday bow. Gathering each bunch and removing the stickers on the stems as I cried. In my heart all I can think of is how this is me, us right now. You are not here with me and I am going to visit you and leave these at your grave. Who could understand this and know the ache I feel inside? But I did it. I drove, crying all the way to the cemetery. It had been snowing for the past few days, and the cemetery looked bare and cold, yet still beautiful. When I parked and stepped out, a sudden sense of peace filled me. I made it! I was finally back at my favorite place. Even though I knew my visit would be brief due to the cold and the time, it would be enough. What do I wish for you my son on your birthday? Well of course I would wish for you as I always have, for there to be many more years to celebrate. But...this cannot be. Not in this life. So I am wishing for the day we meet again and celebrate for eternity. And what a celebration that will be! Surrounded by countless numbers of people who love us, love you and who we love too. This here on earth is no match for what I do believe is awaiting me when I reach the other side to where you are my beautiful boy. How I long for that day. Until then... I will continue to love you as I always have and know I will eternally. I miss you more than I can ever tell you. Happy Heavenly Birthday my son... may the angels in heaven give you a kiss from me and a great big hug! P.S. Your favorite holiday starts tomorrow, Hanukkah . I made it through the first holiday of this season, Thanksgiving , and made it through your first birthday without you. I think I feel pretty good about celebrating the eight days of Hanukkah... can't wait to tell you all about it. Making Memories to Last a Lifetime, Celebrating You Josh!

While the world carried on with its headlines and history, our world was changed forever. Newborn Joshua Baez On That Day — December 14, 1998 The world was moving forward, unaware of what it was about to receive. Across the globe, history was unfolding in heavy ways. In the Balkans, violence erupted along the Kosovo border, where lives were lost in a conflict that would soon draw the world’s attention. International conversations centered on justice and accountability, as nations debated the fate of leaders accused of past acts of cruelty and violence. The world was restless, carrying the weight of division, struggle, and unanswered questions. Closer to home, in the United States, the country stood at a constitutional crossroads. The President faced impeachment, and every television, newspaper, and radio carried the same tense conversations about power, truth, and accountability. It was a moment when the nation paused, uncertain of what would come next. In Orlando, Florida, it was an ordinary Monday in December. The air was mild, the streets familiar, and life continued at its usual pace. Theme parks welcomed visitors, schools and businesses opened their doors, and families went about their days — unaware that something extraordinary was quietly beginning. Because on that day, Joshua Baez was born . While the world focused on headlines and history, at East Orlando Hospital, at around 6:40pm, a life entered it that mattered more than all of them. Joshua was born. He arrived with his own divine purpose, his own heavenly light, and his own place in this world. In that moment, history became personal . Time marked itself not by events on the news, but by his first breath, his first cry, and the love that instantly surrounded him. He was welcomed by close family and friends who had eagerly anticipated his arrival and celebrated his new beginning. I will always remember when he first arrived and cried for the first time. The nurses brought him to me and placed him near my face, and immediately he quieted. He knew who I was by my touch, scent, and the sound of my voice... which comforted and reassured him. All was well. Josh’s life, though not long enough by human measure, left an eternal imprint deeper than dates or headlines can hold. He is remembered not for the world he was born into, but for the love he gave, the presence he carried, and the way he forever changed those who knew him, even if for only a brief moment or encounter. The world kept turning that day — but for us, everything began. Psalm 139:16 "...all the days ordained for me (Joshua) were written in Your book before one of them came to be." Joshua’s Birth Didn't Make The Headlines, But It Did Make The News!

Birthday Balloons for Joshua's 1st Remembrance Birthday How do we continue to celebrate a loved one’s birthday after they are no longer with us? All that's left is the constant reminder of their absence. Should we honor them privately or invite others to join in their remembrance?  As my son Joshua's birthday on December 14 approached, it became increasingly difficult. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. In the past 10 months, I have discovered and continue to discover ways to honor and celebrate my son Josh . I am sharing these tools with you so that you can also use them to honor your loved ones who have passed. We can keep their memory alive. And still include them in the celebration. As this day approached, a heaviness took hold of my heart and soul. Dread sometimes overwhelmed and consumed me if I allowed. And at times, still does. Yet, I resist it. I leaned in and faced my reality, with intention reflected on past birthdays. I asked myself, What did we do? How did he want to celebrate? We must find the courage to confront this day and create a plan. Begin by considering how your loved ones would wish to be remembered by you. Take this chance to celebrate their life in a meaningful way. Birthdays are celebrations filled with excitement and anticipation; good food, gifts, and time with family and friends. Here are some ways I discovered in my research that inspire me. May you find comfort, hope and peace in entering this day, the day they were born, and honor them in the best possible way you can. 1. Celebrate Their Way Cook their favorite meal, go to their favorite restaurant, or enjoy their favorite (or genre) movie in their memory. And don't forget to have their favorite dessert and drink! 2. Donate in Their Memory or Volunteer and Serve Make a contribution in their name. Was there an organization or charity, a special cause they supported and/or felt passionate for? A memorial gift donation continues their legacy. You can also choose to volunteer and serve where they did or in ways similar to how they would have invested their time and energy in making a difference in the community and our world. 3. A Time Away Take a day or however long you need away from day to day. Create and plan an environment to heal. An escape, sometimes it helps to go far to feel close. You can choose to go alone or surround yourself by those you know support your journey and are a sense of comfort for you. 4. Write a Letter Share with your loved one a recent life update, a milestone you met, a moment that made you smile or cry, even a decision or question that has been on your mind. Simply write and pour yourself out on paper. When a pen meets paper it can bring out the words we want to speak and keep inside or never knew we needed to say them at all. I have personally done this with my son. You can read my letter at the end of this post. 5. Plant Trees Memorial trees can be planted and serve as a lasting, meaningful tribute in honor of their life. See suggestions at the end of post for a list of organizations to choose from. 6. Plan a Visit to the Cemetery or Memorial Visit their gravesite or special memorial place. Going on their Birthday can offer you comfort and peace as you celebrate and reflect on the life they gave the world. Unfortunately, on this first year for me I wasn't able to visit. But I am hoping I can still before the weekend is over! It's been snowing and freezing temperatures in Illinois. UPDATE: I did make it yesterday! You can read more in my letter to my son. 7. Lighting a Candle The glowing warmth of a candle can be a perfect way to celebrate the impression our loved ones left on our lives. Placing a heirloom or a well cared for object of theirs, a handwritten note, or a photo beside the candle can help us remember their light. 8. Balloon Release I did consider doing this one activity. But struggled with the idea because of the environment hazard. Perhaps there are eco-friendly balloons. If you know of any please share in comments below! The idea is to purchase balloons and release them into the sky in remembrance of our loved one. For myself I thought to get 23 balloons to signify the 23 years of his life . And then release with those he loved and is loved by. Josh's First Remembrance Birthday Here are photos from our first year celebrating Joshua's birthday without him. I decided to keep the tradition alive in the way he always loved. We enjoyed his favorite pizza, drink, and ice cream cake. We then watched Avatar 1, as we had planned, and extended the celebration into the weekend by going to the theater to watch the new Avatar movie with his friends. Spending this time as he would have really helped us get through and made him a part of our celebration. I hope that by sharing this, I inspire you to consider how your loved one can still be honored and remembered on their special day. After all, the day they were born was when the world received a unique gift. In my eyes, there's no one like my son Josh , and there never will be. He is truly one of a kind, just as your loved one is, and as each of us is. No matter where you are on your journey or where you find yourself now, the best way to honor them is by truly celebrating life. Happy Heavenly Birthday! Josh's Infamous Ice Cream Birthday Cake! Pizza Hut Special Delivery for Josh Dr. Pepper Josh's Favorite Pizza for Joshua Click below to read MY LETTER TO JOSH Below are recommended websites for planting trees in someone's honor: alivingtribute.org arborday.org thetreesremember.com treesforachange.com thegiftedtree.com Proverbs 10:7 "The memory of the righteous is a blessing..."

Josh & Skyla "R.I.P Best friend, the only real true best friend I ever had in my life. Josh, I never thought I would get that call that you had passed away. Gone too soon. Best friend, I really miss you and love you with all my heart. My heart aches every day for you. I can't believe you are still gone. I can't believe that this is true. Josh, I never got to say goodbye or got to see you one last time. I wish this wasn't true. You were the only one I could tell everything to. The one I could always count on when I needed someone. The only one that I could truly call my one and only true best friend I ever had in my life. Josh, I will forever remember the first day we met. All the amazing memories and moments we shared together. All the conversations, smiles, laughs, walks, and pictures we always had. You were the most caring, loving, sweet, kind-hearted guy I ever knew. You would give your life up for anyone because that's the kind of man you were. I will forever cherish every moment. Best friend, I honestly feel like a piece of me is missing without you because you were a part of me, and now that part of me is missing since the day you left. Josh, I'm beyond heartbroken and beyond missing you. I cry almost every day knowing you're gone. But heaven has gained another perfect angel, and that's you, my best friend. I will love you and miss you forever. You may be gone but never forgotten, best friend. Until we meet again, my best friend." 😭 R.I.P 2/5/22 Josh Baez Rest in peace, Best friend 😇 Shared on social media by Skyla Davis

🌵 Footage of Josh Arriving in Arizona in His 1996 Black Toyota Camry 🌵 Discovering this precious video clip from Josh's time in Arizona on May 12th, 2021. With unwavering determination, he set out from South Elgin, Illinois, driving his 1996 Toyota Camry, eager to carve his own path in life. The Camry, a true "Trooper," proved its worth, accompanying him as he bravely embraced new challenges and opportunities during his time away. It marked his first step towards independence and chasing his dreams. Little did we know, this journey would be bittersweet. As he began his new job and excitedly welcomed a fresh start, the car met with an unfortunate accident during his first training. The accident occured at the hands of someone he called friend, had become like a brother to him. This event set off a chain of challenges, leading him to experience hardships he had never faced before - homelessness, poverty, and struggles that were heart-wrenching for me, his mother, to witness from afar. It was a season of growth and learning for us both as I grappled with letting go and granting him the freedom to navigate life's complexities. The distance between us made it all the more challenging, but I held onto faith and love, knowing that Josh had the strength to overcome. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill Yet, amidst the trials, there were glimmers of hope. Josh's resilience and unwavering spirit shone through, and by the grace of God, he returned home at the end of May. The time he spent with our family was a precious gift, and I cherish every moment we had together. Sadly, life's path is unpredictable, and after nine months, it was time for him to embark on his final journey - to his eternal home in heaven. My heart aches with sorrow, but I find comfort in knowing that he is at peace. Though Josh's time in Arizona was brief, the memories and lessons he left behind are everlasting. His impact on our lives is immeasurable. Josh's indomitable spirit and courage continue to inspire all who knew him. He will forever remain in our hearts, a brave soul who dared to pursue his dreams. Let us cherish his memory, celebrate his life, and find strength in the love he shared. 🕊️💕 May his spirit continue to guide us through life's trials. 🕊️💕 Psalm 116:15 - "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants." #InLovingMemory #ForeverInOurHearts #JoshEternalJourney #JoshLegacy #JoshBaez125 #CourageousSpirit #Arizona2021 #ToyotaCamry

How can I describe my first encounter and the final one with my son? It occurred in the middle of the night on February 20th, 2022, shortly after I had buried him that Saturday. In a single day, I experienced both the best and worst moments of my life: celebrating my son's life and laying him to rest. Even in the days leading up to his accident, I struggled to sleep, as if my spirit sensed what was coming. How could I possibly sleep? Especially now? Any moments of rest were not truly restful; my soul was in torment. Deep mourning, heavy grief. I never slept with a light on, but looking back, I feel there was some kind of light in the room. Even now, after three years, I remember this encounter vividly and in great detail. Joshua came to me. I was lying on my bed on my right side, as I usually do. Suddenly, I felt as though my spirit saw him lying on his left side right beside me, facing me. It was as if I could perceive this happening while my physical eyes couldn't see it. Both my body and soul were grieving deeply for him. As he lay beside me, I knew it was my son, Josh. However, he wasn't the same as when he passed away. He appeared as a higher, magnified, and glorified version of himself. He seemed to have matured into an older self, having aged in the two weeks since his earthly body failed. Being in the presence of Jesus, I realized that a remarkable transformation occurs. The knowledge and wisdom gained from the heavenly realm elevate you to a state of pure perfection. This is what I witnessed in my son during this encounter. He was still in his 20s, but a few years older. His features were more handsome, mature, and manly. I could truly feel his presence, the new Josh, and everything he had become. It is incredibly challenging to describe in words what can only be truly felt and experienced. As he lay there, I could see that he was also grieving. He was sorrowful. I sensed his wish to comfort me, to be present for me. I was certain that his sorrow wasn't due to his passing and leaving me behind. His sadness was for my sorrow. Later, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a scripture that confirmed what I had felt at that moment. It was when Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead, yet when he saw the sisters mourning, he felt their sorrow and began to grieve as well. But his grief was truly for them. The Holy Spirit gave me this insight, which aligned with my experience. The next thing I remember is him placing his hands on me and beginning to pray. He interceded deeply, speaking words I couldn't understand, in a language he had never used on earth before. It was a new heavenly language. As he spoke, I felt a power emanating from him, an impartation of sorts. I sensed he was preparing me for the rest of my journey, leaving me with a special blessing. I even felt a sense of protection from this moment. I knew it was meant to carry me forward. Living through this wouldn't be easy, and more suffering lay ahead. He knew it, he saw it, so he gave me this farewell gift before his official departure to heaven. Earlier that morning, when I was awake, and ever since, I've been praying to God to reveal the words Joshua spoke over me. I am still waiting for them to be disclosed. However, I feel confident and at peace with the understanding I gained during my last encounter with my son in his new heavenly form, shortly after I laid his earthly body to rest. "Though the words remain unspoken, the peace and protection they imparted remain with me, a testament to a love that never fades." It has taken three years to share this story. It means a lot to me and is something I will treasure throughout my life until I am reunited with him when my journey here concludes. By sharing, I hope to offer comfort, hope, encouragement, and peace to those who have experienced their own loss, including those who miss my son Joshua. If only I could show you what I witnessed when I was with him then! He is now beautifully perfect—whole, well, and safe. Thank You Holy Spirit for revealing this truth to me during my time of long suffering and grief. It has brought comfort to me. May it bring comfort to others. For this precious encounter, I am eternally grateful. Design by Joshua

Losing someone we love is one of the most challenging experiences we can go through in life. It leaves an indelible mark on our hearts and souls, shaping us in ways we never could have imagined. This platform serves as a tribute to Joshua Baez, a beloved individual whose life touched many others in profound ways. As we gather here to honor Joshua's memory, we are reminded of the power of community and the strength that can be found in coming together to share our stories. Through this platform, we have the opportunity to connect with others who have also experienced the loss of Joshua. By sharing our memories and reflections, we can find comfort in knowing that we are not alone on our healing journeys. Joshua Baez's life story is a testament to the impact that one person can have on those around them. Through sharing memories of his kindness, resilience, and spirit, a funny anecdote that brings a smile to our faces or a touching moment that brings tears to our eyes, each memory serves to preserve his legacy and keep his spirit alive in our hearts. In a world where time moves relentlessly forward, this platform provides a space where we can pause, reflect, and remember the moments that we shared with Joshua. Please join me in celebrating the life of my son, Joshua Baez—a son, grandson, nephew, cousin, brother, friend, and stranger... yet a soul who loved everyone and gave his all for another. Joshua had an extraordinary ability to connect with people, regardless of how well he knew them. He was a stranger to many, yet he treated everyone he encountered with kindness and compassion. His warm smile and infectious laughter could brighten the darkest of days, and his genuine interest in others made him a confidant to many. Joshua had a unique gift for making people feel valued and understood, often going out of his way to lend a helping hand or offer a listening ear. In every aspect of his life, Joshua exemplified what it meant to love unconditionally. He was the kind of person who would give his all for another, often putting the needs of others before his own. Whether it was through small acts of kindness or grand gestures of support, he consistently demonstrated a selflessness that inspired those around him. His spirit of generosity was evident in his willingness to volunteer his time, share his resources, and provide comfort to those in need. As we gather to honor his memory, let us reflect on the countless ways Joshua enriched our lives. Let us celebrate the joy he brought to our families, the laughter he shared with friends, and the love he spread throughout our communities. Though his time with us was far too brief, the impact he made will resonate in our hearts forever. Joshua Baez was a shining light in this world, and as we remember him, may we strive to carry forward his legacy of love, compassion, and unwavering support for one another. Welcome to "In Memory of Joshua". I am ready to join each of you on this unforeseen journey, united by our mutual love for Joshua. Blessings, Marcy Baez Lopez; his mother

Abstract Art A luminous wave of vibrant colors symbolizes the thin veil between realms, capturing the ethereal glow of a beloved spirit. In the middle of the night on February 20th, 2022, I had the most incredible encounter, my final true one with Joshua after we had just laid him to rest. Then, exactly three years later, on Thursday, February 20th, 2025, I experienced a second remarkable encounter. I had sent messages to several contacts, announcing the launch of the " In Memory of Joshua " website, which I had passionately and tirelessly created in honor of my son's life. Each encounter was unique and incomparable, standing out in its own right. As I lay in bed, reflecting on my day and finally achieving a three-year dream of launching the website, tears streamed down my face. My heart was heavy with loss, yet grateful for my accomplishment. Suddenly, I felt a presence—a warmth that enveloped me even as I wept. I believe it was my son, visiting for a brief moment, aware of what I had achieved. Heaven opened a window or a door for Josh to give me a hug. It wasn't just any hug; it was a warm, loving embrace where I sensed his gratitude and thankfulness. Yes, he was thanking me from heaven, although perhaps it's not so far away. It felt as if he was right here with me, just beyond a thin veil or opening. Joshua embraced me with a love that transcended time. The emotions I felt were unlike any I've experienced before. For a fleeting moment, I envisioned or sensed my son's spirit while holding him, but I could only see his back, similar to when you hug someone. I will treasure this moment until we meet again. Thank you, son, for visiting me and holding me during times when my heart was aching and my soul was crying; your presence brought immense comfort. And thank You, Father and Jesus, for sending him and making this encounter possible. 🙏 I pray to have more!